Tag Archives: Angel Blythe Campey

Does this bikini make my personality look fat?

“I wish I was wearing more photo-shop in that picture”

Let me walk you through this unlikely chain of events… A friend of mine asked me to enter an online ‘search for the new face of’, I thought he was asking me as a means of activating the site. A proto-type entry, if you will.

A few weeks later, I get told I’m on the short-list. This was pretty laughable, as I’m over the hill and no longer in the schmodel world. I had to go for an ‘in person’ interview. I joked that my personality needed to not let me down, but really knew that they’d offer me a zimmer frame as I shuffled my granny bones out of the interview once they saw how mistaken they had been.

Here comes the high five moment… Standing at the Kings of Leon concert, in the Golden Circle (which my awesome friends had managed to smuggle me into) Watching my buddies slam the most epic air guitars known to imaginary rockstars, after smuggling an 8 meter piece of kelp into the concert… and having no less than two run ins with the cops en route to the concert (both of which ended in high-fives and us thinking that cops are pretty rad people) — I got an sms on my phone, telling me that i’d made the top 8 finalists for the Miss Biker SA search. ME? *high five* I nearly fell off my zimmer frame with excitement.

Friends 'supporting' me at KOL

Am I the oldest? Of course.

Did I expect this? Of Course not.

Am I stoked? So very very stoked!

Here’s my profile on the site

All 8 of us Finalists.

The prize is to be the spokesperson for Think Bike, and the Cape Town Bike Festival, as well as over R500 000 worth of prizes. Yes. Half a million. *swallow*

Here are some of the questions they asked me and like the sarcastic comedian I am.. the answers I provided. (They had to Edit me down in the actual article which you can read here:)

1)    What is the most important quality you look for in a man? Well, I’d say a pulse is a good start. It could just get awkward without one. Raises a lot of questions that I wouldn’t feel comfortable answering should the police ask.

Secondly, (because I’m a stand up comedian) he obviously needs to have a sense of humour. Not even a “sense” of it, a pretty firm GRASP of humour is essential. I like to look up to my men, and I’m pretty tall. So I prefer tall guys. That about covers it. 1.Alive 2. Funny 3. Vertically gifted.

On the shoot of Miss Biker SA

2)    Chicken or fish? Was it Einstein who said, “if you judge a fish by it’s ability to climb a tree, it will go its whole life thinking it’s stupid”?

I think that applies here. Not that a Chicken can climb a tree, but it can’t swim and a fish can. Chicken doesn’t go well with slap-chips but fish doesn’t go well with Sunday roast. Now I’m hungry. And I want to climb a tree.

3)    Would you ever get a tattoo? If so what and where? I used to think it would be pretty cool to get angel wings tattooed on my shoulder blade so that I could finally answer all those people who say “wow, your name’s Angel? Where are your wings?” But now I have decided that it’s better to stare at them, and whisper “People don’t have wings…  does your doctor know you’ve stopped taking your medication?” So, no – I have no need for tattoos anymore.

4)    If you could be a male celebrity, who and why? I would be Ryan Reynolds. So that I could stare at myself in the mirror without a shirt on all day.

5)    What is “VA VA VOOM”? It’s what a person with a stutter and speech impediment would sound like if they were trying to say ‘room’? ……… No, va va voom is sexy. It’s like Ryan Reynolds on a super bike, with a tattoo – eating chicken, after climbing a tree. And revving that engine… va va voom. Grrrrrowl.

Vote for me by clicking here and then clicking ‘like’

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The Great Trekkie

Not that I’m a star-trekkie, but it’s not a real ‘trek’ unless you consider lugging a fake Louis Vuitton handbag through customs as a feat as dangerous as those ox-wagons over the mountains…

JO’BURG I’m Coming for you.

I’m strapping my money to the inside of my bra (not coz I’m used to it being slid there by strangers, but to keep it safe from muggers…) and I’m heading up to the big smoke. The city of Gold… the Burg that is Jo (Middle name, Hannes)

Going to be performing comedy at a few venues up there as well as catching up on some face-time with a few long lost besties.

I’m excited….

Here is my Comedy schedule:

Thursday 17th November 2011 – RODIZIO restaurant in Bedfordview with Samoka Entertainment.

Friday 18th November 2011 – Joe Parker’s Comedy – Monte Casino, Fourways.

Tuesday 22nd November 2011 – Joe Parker’s Comedy – Monte Casino, Fourways.

Wednesday 23rd November 2011 – Bubba J’s – Boksburg.

Back in the Mother of all Cities:

Saturday 26th November 2011 – Synergy Live Festival – Comedy tent. Franschoek

Monday 28th November 2011 – Joker’s Comedy – Massimo’s, Main Rd, Plumstead next to Ocean Basket

Wednesday 30th November 2011 – Joker’s Comedy – Depasco’s/Sabrina’s c/o Kloof and Buitensingel Rd

Thursday 1st December 2011 – Jou Ma Se Comedy Club – The River Club, Observatory.

(If there are any gigs that you have or know of on other dates, Please contact me, especially on the 19th, 20th and 21st in Joburg.)

Below is a little youtube of me, talking nonsense about my comedy career. Or as I like to call it, a ME-Tube.

*Comedic High Five*

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Our First Time

Talking about my first time with two guys. (Right. That opening sentence should secure the hits from porn website browsers)

But, contrary to popular leaked internet videos, we’re not talking about THAT first time… our COMEDY first time. (Which had more tears and less video cameras… or was it less tears and more cameras? both ended in awkward silence.)

Me and fellow comedians, Rustum August and Shaun Jejane Hung out on Long street with Peter Sserwanga and his video camera.

*comedic high five*

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Miss Biker SA

Imagine YOU could help someone win R500 000 worth of prizes, just by clicking twice on the internet. 

What’s that? …. you CAN! Holy smokes… this is your lucky day. Talk about a ‘good deed’… 

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE… what if i told you, that by simply clicking on a link, you could see photos that this was ‘behind the scenes’ of… 

I know, it all sounds too good to be true. But that’s the beauty of RandomHighFives…. I allow you to make dreams come true, and perv. That’s like when you slip R100 into that Russian stripper’s thong. Making her dream of going to college and buying goats for her village back home come true, at very little inconvenience to yourself. My name’s not Angel for nothing.

Here’s how: CLICK HERE and then CLICK LIKE. 

You’re welcome.

BUT WAIT THERE’S EVEN MORE!!!

Simply by clicking ‘like’ on that page you could win tickets to The Cape Town Bike Festival. Watch this 30 second clip:

Good, Now that I have your attention. I hope you will like the link. (what link again? THIS LINK) You can win tickets… you can make a girl’s dream of not worrying about rent money and reverting to stripping… in her bedroom. (The girl is me… by the way. In case you’re practicing full retard) and you can see that girl in latex and bikinis… plus, wouldn’t it be nice if a stand-up comedian got some votes, and became a spokesperson for Think Bike before she’s well and truly over the hill… on a dirt-bike.

And check out the rest of the @CTBFestival on Twitter. 16th-18th December.

It’s going to be sick. The good sick. Not the doctors bill kinda sick but the ‘dollar dollar bill’ yo kinda sick.

*Biker Chick High Five*

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