Winter is apon us. That means no more hiking, beaching and need to wear bikinis… This also means we need to retreat into gyms if we don’t want to turn into sloths by next summer.
Category Archives: Think Like a Man
So this just happened.
Life is Savage, the blogger and twitter fiend is no enemy of mirrors. We love him for it. We love him so much in fact that his little avatar drifts up my twitter feed and I smile softly as it floats past… thanking God, Allah and Tom Cruise for inventing abs, pecs, brown skin and then throwing water over that creation.
I then thought I should draw attention to this with an innocent perve tweet.
And then it backfired.
In a moment of Maiden modesty (or boyish defiance) Savage changed his profile picture (the very OPPOSITE of what I wanted…) to this:
Now whilst that photo might still exite and allure me, it’s for ALL the wrong reasons.
Ladies. Rise up. Petition. comment on this post to let our voices be heard.
BRING BACK THE OLD SURFING SAVAGE!!
It’s our turn to perve and objectify men. And they should damn well oblige.
Being a single girl in these trying financial times, I hear a lot of talk about ‘sugar daddies’- but I can buy my own sugar. What I need is a “petrol daddy”. Petrol is skyrocketing faster than it did when it was physically inside the first actual rocket that went into the sky. (Well, that’s not scientifically accurate. But the severity of the analogy is not lost on any of us).
Just last week, I was chatting to my petrol pump attendant (in an effort to distract myself from crying, as I noticed how little the needle moved after what was essentially a R300 shot of petrol) and he was telling me that many motorists have stopped tipping him at all for his services, because they’re too mad about the prices. As if it’s his fault. He doesn’t even have a car. Yet again the bottom rung suffers most.
While there is very little we can do – here are some ways to save petrol in the 2012 mayhem in which we live. And for goodness sake, tip your attendants…
My latest moneysmart column:
What if your financial spending style was like a musical stereotype? Lets delve into the world in my mind of MTV, line dancing, radio hits and dollar bills, yo.
Hip Hop and Rap
You are all about short-term results with your spending style. Wasting money on flashy cars, diamond encrusted walking sticks and solid gold. You talk about money all the time but probably don’t stick to a very responsible budget. When a girl in a club asks you to pop another bottle and you oblige, your budget quietly weeps. You’re all about luxury and opulence, which is great while you’re still “young money”. But you’d best think about future investments before all those credit cards start putting you in some serious D.E.B.T. Which is not the name of a hot new jail-broken talent, but a nasty thing that banks claim from people who aren’tmoneysmart. You might need to take out life-insurance as drive by shootings are a common problem.
It’s my last birthday of my 20’s… part of my 29 things to do before I was 29 was to reminisce in a totally self indulgent way about the last 28 birthdays in the land that was Angel.
And what better way than a photo-blog memory. *claps hands* Time for a movie montage… a montage…. a…. mooontaaage?
Ok, so my internet skills aren’t that advanced. Yet. Simple photos will have to do. Let’s start at the very beginning: Wee baby not yet fully cognitive Angel…
I can’t even say “awww cute” coz babies really look like nothing more than putty to me until they are 1 years old. If you want to see how my hippy mom chose my name, read this. This is not a biography… it’s a birthdayography anyway. Fast-forwarding right along….
First Birthday 1984
I don’t remember much. But I’ll take my mother’s word that the baby in the photos is me.
Second Bday ’85
Would you believe that my parents (who were both professional photographers) have NO photographic evidence that I even HAD a second Birthday? Sha.
So here’s a photo of me and my bro when I was 2 to prove that I was indeed not abducted by aliens that year…
Now, the Link to the 3rd birthday (of which there are no photos either… BUT there is a video, which I have seen. So I know I’m wearing this dress:)
3rd Bday 1986
Thanks to the video-graphic proof I know that I had a party at my house, and all the kids from my nursery school were there. We had a Punch and Judy puppet show and magician in the form of a sarcastic hilarious old British man. Which (might I add) was much more hysterical for grown up Angel than little 3 yr old Angel, with puppets making reference to government officials and calling kids who fell over ‘drunk’. Most entertaining.
The highlight of the video is watching us all sit on our nannies laps during the magic show and how we were all equally enthralled by the mysticism woven.
4th Bday 1987
Ok, this was a pretty magical one. It was held in the Durban Botanical Gardens and was a fairy and Pixie Theme. (I loved Fairies, much more than Angels… go figure)
This party was full on with treasure hunt and clues and it ended with a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow… a giant polystyrene rainbow that my parents had made and hung in a tree. It was pretty magical.
I have memories of the day, and my worst memory is my mother trying to dress me, and we sat for (what felt like) hours as she curled my hair with hot irons… this was the day we learned a lesson that almost 29 year old Angel knows all too well… My hair DOESN’T CURL. It’s dead straight. Like an Afrikaans boy from Bloemfontein on a rugby pitch.
We had a tug of war, and my grandpa (pictured in the dark clothes on the left of the photo) helped our team win… by cheating. He was awesome like that. Also. Look at the boys wearing white tights…. hilarious.
5th Bday 1988
I ask you, with tears in my eyes – what is a child most terrified of.. after the dark… Clowns. Yes. Well. Bear with me as i show you my mother’s idea for a ‘FUN’ birthday… WHY WOULD SHE DO THIS TO ME!?
CLOWN THEME!? For shame! The redeeming factor is that this was also at the Durban Aquarium, so it was a ‘Dolphin theme’ too. And we watched the dolphin show, I remember that. And I got to pet a dolphin.
Yes, so Dolphins and Clowns… naturally.
Another highlight of my 5th birthday would be this photo:
This was my “first boyfriend” enjoying the cake I brought to school… with a very disapproving Granny of mine looking on. Yeah. Swag Angel… SWAG.
Sixth Bday 1989
ah Dear Six Year Old Angel… Again, I have no photographic proof or memory of this. I will have to trust that it happened and that it was awesome. I was in Grade 1 when I turned six… and I looked like this:
Dear Six Year Old Angel… in 22 years you’re going to get a lot of tweets.
7th Bday 1990
This was a pretty Baller birthday… we did a huge ‘around the world’ trip as a family that April. We went all over England (where my dad grew up) and saw castles and bridges… then we happened to be in Canada for my 7th Birthday.
I met my cousin who lives in Canada for the first time and we also saw SNOW for the first time ever.. on my birthday. A little birthday miracle.
Canada was rad. I remember going on the yellow school bus with my cousin to check out his school and all the Canadian kids were so rude and pushy and couldn’t believe we were from AFRICA. A kid asked me if I had a pet monkey. I said yes. I told him that we didn’t have yellow school busses but rode an elephant all together. I didn’t blink. You may call it lying. I call it honing my ability to mock fools. At aged 7. Yes.
The best part about my 7th Birthday was that THIS was our next stop on the trip…
My life pretty much peaked at this point.
We also did all over America and ended in New York City.
Little did 7 Year Old Angel know, that a mere 11 years later, 18 year Old Angel would be living in New York as a Lingerie Model…
8th – 11th. I do not remember these birthdays. During this time we moved from Durban to Plett and my grandparents looked after me. I was probably too drunk to remember the parties.
12th Bday – 1995
This was a ‘Masquerade’ theme and the invitations were masks that you had to decorate and then wear to my party. The party was on my local beach (Keurboomstrand – near Plett) I can’t remember much more. i think there was a treasure hunt – but that could have been my brother’s birthday… there were definately games in the sand… and a kid stood on a thorn and it went straight through the foot – we could see it sticking out the other side. That was pretty awesome.
13th Bday 1996
I was in Standard 6 and lived in Joburg. I had no friends yet. I probably went to the movies. I got my two cats, Romeo and Cleopatra for my 13th birthday present. – I was clearly training for when I was an unloved adult with cats… Good. Cleo is still alive and kicking. She’s 17 now.
14th Bday 1997
No idea. But I bet it was cool.
15th Bday 1998
Ah, teenagers in Johannesburg. I remember this birthday because I had “quit smoking and was worried that if I got drunk i’d want to smoke” yes, at 15. This was my Concern. We had a sleep over party at my house. Lots of naughty boys and naughty girls and horror movies. My mother was there, supervising. That didn’t stop us from boot-legging some sambuca and getting rip roaringly sick on it… one of the boys vomited the whole night and we made him sleep in the garden. He didn’t care one bit and woke up happy and chilly saying “brr, I’m a cold little sausage”. Most infamous words of my 15th.
(FIFTEEN!!!??? what kind of rebel was i?)
16th Bday 1999
Now we’d moved again and I lived in Somerset West. I was still new so didn’t have many friends. I remember I had a house party and drank lots of hunters… it was pretty tame in comparison to Johannesburg.
17th Bday 2000
This was just another excuse to throw a huge house party in matric. I had lots of friends now and we were all hooligans. I remember chugging a bottle of red wine at some point during the night. We partied to the Beatles songs all night and everyone slept wherever they fell over. It was a pretty epic birthday. I was obessed with cow-spots and got a pretty solid loot of cow spotted things as gifts.
18th Bday 2001
It was my birthday and farewell as I was about to move to New York City. The theme was ‘Heaven’ and it was a huge affair… with a tent and tables and caterers and more alcohol than we knew what to do with.
You had to dress as anyone who would be in heaven. I was dressed as Eve. People came as Mother Theresa, Princess Diana, Cleopatra, Jimi Hendrix, Bonny and Clyde, Laurel and Hardy, Tu-Pac, Jesus, Jim Morrison and all sorts of other hilarities… I got so drunk that i whacked my shin and almost needed stitches. But I drank more and got over it.
19th Bday 2002
Back in South Africa. First Year at UCT I had my party at the Chilli and Lime in Greenpoint (where the fancy schmancy Spar is now) it used to be a dodgy bunch of awesome night clubs. That was an epic night, and before I ended up passed out on the curb with my boyfriend protecting me… i remember standing on the bar pouring champagne in peoples mouths as the whole dance-floor chanted my name… incidentally – that was the last time I drank until my 23rd Birthday. 4 years of absolutely no alcohol. Good call, drunk Angel…. Most people don’t have conviction when they say “I’m never drinking again” – well, as I lay there, with my face on the asphalt, I was making vows…
20th Bday 2003
No idea. I was in 2nd year UCT and recently single and happy. That’s all I remember about early 2003. I can’t blame being drunk for the lack of memories… must have been drugs this time.
21st Bday 2004
I hang my head in shame. I peaked at my 15th birthday it would seem. remember, I didn’t drink – and I didn’t enjoy being in places where people would all get drunk. I was also in a very serious long term relationship with my boy from Northern Ireland… so. For my big, huge, momentus 21st birthday…… we went out for sushi. Me me mow!
Sushi was pretty new and exciting back then. I remember it was a few people’s first time trying it. So… there was something ‘amazing’ about my birthday… not really…. sigh.
22nd Bday 2005
I really was not cool in my early twenties… i don’t want to say what we did for this birthday. But it just so happened to coincide perfectly with a Westlife concert tour date… and would you believe I loved Westlife. So that’s what we did. My best friend Kelly and I took our two Mom’s to Westlife… for my birthday.
Let me redeem myself and say that we THEN had guestlist at Opium (a baller club in Greenpoint) that a bunch of my friends met me at after the Westlife concert. Mock all you like. I’ve heard it all before. Here’s another secret…. The only reason I bothered getting Opium guestlist at all was that I was hoping Westlife would have their after party there… They didn’t.
23rd Bday 2006
Fireworks and magic. This year my birthday coincided perfectly with the finale of the Symphony of Fire which is a firework display at the Waterfront. My flat overlooked the waterfront so a bunch of my closest friends came over, we climbed the hill behind my flat… sang Queen songs, smoked hubbly and watched the fireworks.
We took millions of photos… This was also the first time I drank alcohol again in 4 years. It wasn’t really a large amount but I’d made it through all of UCT sober. My friends threw their own party just to see me drinking.
After the fireworks and joviality we partied the night away at Ignite (what is now St Yves) and it ended pretty well… in a haze of awesome:
24th Bday 2007
My birthday fell on Easter sunday this year. We spent the weekend at my mother’s house.
Highlights include – Easter egg treasure hunt we made with the most cryptic clues and creative hiding places…
Daring my friend to fit 10 marshmallow easter eggs into his mouth. Secretly adding 5 more eggs to the eggs he fit in his mouth.
Friend winning the dare and making the rest of us go streaking around the block.
25th Bday 2008
This party was marked by Jagermeister. Singing of terrible Chinese versions of pop songs and lots and lots of awesome bad decisions.
26th Bday 2009
I lived in Korea. I woke up on a spring day and walked to work underneath the most cliche’d and beautiful Cherry Blossom trees you could ever imagine in Asia. The air was warm and sweet.
My students were particularly adorable that day and brought me birthday presents like cans of coke. We did a play that day, the little red hen, this was for my amusement mostly as I made them wear dumb masks and do stupid things. tee hee.
That night I got drunk with my closest friends:
Trick makes two mistakes. One. It allows Westerners into it’s bar. Two – it has a cover charge of only $30 and then all drinks are free. ALL drinks. Shooters, cocktails, beers – whatever. All the barmen and waiters are trained magicians and they perform tricks for you all night. It’s pretty much the most epic and magical night you could imagine… plus you get absolutely RAT FACED…. I was home, in bed… naked – voluntarily… by midnight. That’s a GOOD party.
27th Bday 2010
I was back home in Cape Town again, so had a nice reunion at St Yves in Camps Bay… they gave me a table, with cupcakes and balloons… and lots of long lost friends came to welcome me home.
The next morning, a very hungover group of my closest friends, my family and my boyfriend at the time travelled up with me to Montagu where we had booked a cottage in the mountains near the hotsprings… we lolled in hot water and around fireplaces all weekend.
28th Bday 2011
The Stormers had a rugby match on my birthday.
A bunch of us went to Newlands to watch together equipped with pom-poms and loud voices…
My best friend AJ and I tried to start a mexican wave for a good half an hour by running up and down the field in front of the crowd. Despite the crowd’s best efforts it never took off. The stormers also lost. :/
I had my party that night at the Grand Daddy Hotel Rooftop as they had given me a hotel room as a birthday present that year. We partied up and down Long Street until Helen Zille’s curfew came into effect at 2am and the mother of the Mother City made sure we were all away from alcohol. Pretty epic and decadent end to the night… going to sleep all alone… in that massive hotel bed.
29th bday 2012
My last Birthday of my 20s I’m sharing with a friend who’s also born on the 9th of April.
We’re having it on Saturday the 7th April 2012 at the Alexander Bar in Cape Town CBD. That’s on the Corner of Strand and Loop. at 8pm. Come on down, if I know you.
Make some more memories.
This is another of my 29 before 29 list things DONE
*29 years of High Five*
It’s my 29th birthday in 29 days. To celebrate my last birthday in my twenties, and because 9 is my lucky number. I am writing a list of 29 things I have never done and ‘should have done’ before I’m 29.
99 Red Balloons… 29 Pink ones.
I will try to get one done a day and blog about the experience. Let’s try and make the end of my 20’s memorable. (then i’ll do a proper list of 30 big things to do before I’m 30…)
In no particular order:
1. Get a facial
2. Watch James Bond movies
3. Walk down a busy street with 29 helium balloons.
4. Bake a cake from scratch.
5. Test drive a luxury sports car.
6. Learn ten basic things in sign language.
7. Learn how to play poker.
8. Go to a ballet or Opera.
9. Ride the My Citi Bus.
10. Shoot a handgun.
11. Find the perfect pair of jeans.
12. Learn the difference between names of wine.
13. Help an old lady across the street.
14. Write a Haiku.
16. Choose my 29 Favourite songs of all time.
17. Plant a potplant.
18. Meditate for 29 mins.
19. Join a protest to Parliament. Or make own protest.
20. Read in the park.
21. Bake cookies for the neighbours and make friends with them.
22. Make a custom t-shirt.
23. Find a street called ‘Angel’ and take a photo.
24. Reconnect with a long lost old friend.
25. Feed a homeless person.
27. Donate more than R100 to charity.
28. High Tea at Mount Nelson Hotel.
*Birthday high five*
The latest internet phenomenon: Two girls…. one…. MIC. *cough* what were YOU thinking? This is the latest epic high five moment in my life.
We talk about topical subjects that amuse us, play songs that make us bop and mock each other for our differences. It’s the ‘not that kind of girl show’ where we laugh bawdily and talk candidly. After all – it’s internet radio, so that means. Not only can you listen to it anywhere in the world, but we have no censorship! (and no sponsorship – but we’re working on that). We will throw down F words from time to time and other words like Friday, Feline, Fiddlesticks, Fun, Flirt, Fornicate, and Fudge.
Yesterday was our first ever broadcast, live – with a webcam to point and laugh at us – and with lots of buttons, dials, keyboards and tabs on screens. It’s 2 girls 1 mic – they never said anything about all the knobs and buttons!
But us savvy girls know how to push buttons, both in our relationships, love lives and radio lifes. And (much like in our relationships and love lives) sometimes we pushed the wrong button. But our smooth talking and fast thinking eased over the bumbles – like we try in real life.
We had the hilarious Tracy Klass in studio as a guest in our second half.
Back from her highly acclaimed and sold out one woman show ‘Klass Struggle’ in Joburg. She sashayed in, wearing full leopard print (or is it cougar print?) and brought us a celebratory bottle of Pongranz to toast our first ever show with a bang and pop.
Our other in studio guests were aKing band (who had just been announced as SAMA nominees for Rock Album of the year, the day before). They walked in like real rock-stars should and started popping bottles, causing kak and making us laugh.
The studio got a little chaotic with all the bubbly, humour and wit being flung about. And Kamini and I scrambled to get back on top of things – Like mountain climbers summiting Kili – we emerged victorious. A little dizzy, a little altitude sickness and a little sweaty from the stuggle… but victorious none the less. And on top of a mountain…
All in all I’d say it was a win of a first show. The podcast will be up soon so you can judge for yourselves. (and i used the term ‘judge’ loosely, don’t judge us. We’re new. )
Tune in next Friday 1-3pm here — It’s Kamini’s turn to push buttons and turn dials. We should be better on our second time… and if not, we should be funny.
Follow the hashtag #2girls1mic or follow 2oceansvibe radio on twitter.