old school funny Angel

So, I was googling my own name. WHAT!? (Oh admit it, you all do it.) And I stumbled across my myspace. *snort* oh myspace. remember that?  haha. What a joke.

Anywho. On this myspace *chortle* i found this old ‘fun’ survey that we used to fill in when we were bored at our deskjobs and the internet was still new and novel and we put all of the info in the world up there. Well this is from 6 years ago. (myspace was around SIX years ago!? Holy moly. time flies.)

23 year old Angel was rather amusing. She has made (almost) 29 year old Angel laugh. This was years and years before I even considered being a comic. But she’s mental. Clearly. Perhaps i have regressed with age.

I have copy pasted it (with all its typos in tact) for my archive and your reading pleasure.

All you need to know about the info is I had a long term boyfriend at the time called Mike, who i reference. the rest is self explanatory.

*time machine high five 23 year old Angel*

23 Year old Angel.

Funny Random survey –

The letter A:
Are you available?: nope
What is your age?: 23
What annoys you?: being asked what my age is. hehe – no only kidding, that’s silly. potatoes with umbreallas on the back of tapdancing mice really annoy me.. i mean WHATS with the umbrella people…. ?

The letter B:
Do you live in a big house?: My mom’s house is big, my flat is fair enough sized for a 3 bedroomed place.
When is your birthday?:9th April

The letter C:
What’s your favorite candy?: Tempo chocolate, or any chocolate actually – also cherry flaovured anything.. and ice lollies that Jess buys… mmm!!!
Crushing?: Bones, teetch, babies skulls??? be more specific – EH what the hell, it’s all great
When was the last time you cried?: when santa left me underwear

The letter D:
Do you daydream?:sorry what, i wasnt concentrating?
What’s your favorite kind of dog?: the kind that doesnt bite back.
What day of the week is it?: Thursday

The letter E:
How do you like your eggs?: edible
Have you ever been in the emergency room?: yeh. silly silly, Naked chainsaws races may be fun, but they ARE risky.

The letter F:
Have you ever flown in a plane?: my uncle owns an airline. so that means you have to assume that not only have i flown, but im ALSO super cool – oooh, can’t touch this, da da da.
Do you use fly swatters?: just my tongue
Have you ever used a foghorn?: hehehe, ah man, its on my ‘to do’ list

The letter G:
Do you chew gum?: Gum, Gun, cyanide it’s all the same. right?
Do you like gummy candies?: well, only if all the teeth have been removed.
are u a giver or a taker? you got to give a little, take a little, let your poor heart break a little – thats the story of,…. that’s the glory of… (ok ok, i’ll stop)

The letter H:
How are you?: sperm met egg, thats how.
What’s your height?: as high as my hat. and shorter than my arms when they are up like THIIIIS.
What color is your hair?: shhhhh. no one really knows.

The letter I:
What’s your favorite ice cream?: with toffee and all the bits of the baby’s drool that i stole it from removed.
Have you ever ice skated?: yeh i have, im a pro, every winter here in africa we wait for the temperature to reach it’s all time low and hit the ponds, and…. get wet . (anticlimax, much)
Do you play an instrument?: i can click my mp3’s in winamp.

The letter J:
What’s your favorite jelly bean?: cherry
Have you ever heard a really hilarious joke? have u ever seen a mirror?
Do you wear jewelry?:a ring, since 2000, never taken it off… NO NO, stop crying boys, it’s not a wedding ring… hehe, it’s from my mom as a matric farewell thing.

The letter K:
Who do you want to kill?: hmmm, now im all pensive in a dark serial killer kinda way – if it was night time and i had a fendora and a spot light id be in an awesome film noir movie – BUT its not, and the FBI and little green men see everything. so… kill? (haha, awkward laugh) NO ONE! tee hee *shift eyes away*
Do you want kids?: thats an unfinished sentence, do i want kids to carry all my stuff, do i want kids to make me really cheap clothes in hot sticky little badly ventilated sweatshops…? i’ll get back to ya on that ;)

The letter L:
Are you laid back?: If Mike is feeling more assertive than me. ;)
When was your last kiss?: see above. haha.

The letter M:
Whats your favorite movie?: Titanic 3, but no ones seen it.
Do you still watch disney movies?:still? why wouldnt i? is… it…not…cool? WHAT?????
Do you like mangos?:MUNGO MUNGO – ah, yeh – i eat anything.. they dont call me anaconda for nothing *drops head* They really do call me anaconda — sigh — they are mean.

The letter N:
Do you have a nickname?:well, mike calls me stinky bitch whore… and everyone else calls me God. (you do too, i hear you — i hear EVERYONE and to answer ur last prayer- NO, you are different and everyone knows AND they are all laughing at you, RIIIIiiight now – ME TOO… whahahahahah!!!!
Whats your favorite number?: 9, coz its so much more intelligent than 8 and 7 just pissed me off the other day and 8025987425972435 is too long to remember. BUT I CAN
Do you prefer night over day?: *silly question* (That means i cant answer it.)

The letter O:
Whats your one wish?: WORLD PEACE!!! (done before ? ohok..) Me to be queen of EVERYTHING and have all the money and stuffs…
Are you an only child?: we are all but only mortals. and no, i have a brother – a big one and two beeeeeeeeeeg sisters.(twins)
Do you wish this was over? Well its more fun than dropping bricks on pidgeons… which is what i could be doing.. well, ive never done that, but it sounds pretty fun – actually more fun than this quiz – (added to ‘to-do’ list together with “blow fog horn – pref near people”)

The letter P:
What one fear are you most paranoid about?: Im not PARANOID!!! who have you been talking to? Who…WHO…!!! WHO… AHHAHAHAH TELL MEEEEE.. AAAAAh!
What are your pet peeves?: homeless people pretending they are hungry, please man, your only homeless not foodless, get a new sign!!!

The letter Q:
What’s your favorite quote?: “I think the worst time to have a heart attack would be during a game of Charades” (wahaha)

The letter R:
Do you think you’re always right?: THINK? no no, KNOW.
Whats a good reason to cry?: If your house burnt down and your husband left you and reversed over your foot and you screamed in pain, your neigbours hearing you scream, assumed a person from the mental assylm had escaped (again) so they leaned out and aimed a shotgun at your buttocks, and shoot you – then you sprint across town, hobbling on ur broken foot and fall off a bridge onto one of those huge barges that carry garbage and on the barge you see your dead dog that you THOUGHT had gone to go play on a farm with bunnies, and as you sit up a piece of scrap paper slaps you in the face and u pull it off and get a paper cut – that hurts – THEN u can cry – as you drift to be dumped with the rest of the garbage in the middle of the ocean…

The letter S:
Do you prefer sun or rain?: sun – or rain. (ambivilant much?)
Do you like snow?: aside from being cold, it would be ok – but i dont know if i could get over the ‘cold’ thing.

The letter T:
What time is it?: time to get a watch (dont u hate it when ppl say that?) nah – it’s 3.20pm
What time did you wake up?: 8.20am (i think)
When was the last time you slept in a tent?:oh, you know… that one time -no no, mike pitches tents all the time – teeeeeeee heeeeeeeee.

The letter U:
Are you wearing underwear?: …what the…? ….How did…?*blush* dooo dooo dooo *whistle*
Underwear or boxers?: DOOOOO DOOOOO DOOOOOO. !!!

The letter V:
Whats the worst veggie? the kind in a wheelchair (ooooh WAY harsh!)
Where do you want to go on vacation?: somewhere where i can exploit their poverty so that i may have favourable exchange rates and abuse all of their natural resources so that they might be able to feed their 7 kids and goat (so, indonesia or south america. then)
Where was your last vacation to?: Southbroom, KZN with Mike. oh no – it was St Helena up the West Coast. Also with Mike.

The letter W:
What’s your worst habit?: taking life too seriously (cant u tell)
Where do you live?: in my head.
What’s your worst fear?: you finding my head. i mean home.. i mean.. *pop*

The letter X:
have you ever had an x-ray?: No, i never did date a guy called Ray.
have you seen the x-games?: They used to be games? thats weird. what are they now – The most boring confusing, the x games. we used to have rules and play games BUT that’s a thing of the PAST ladies and gentle men.. watch as these x contederes .. dooo.. NOTHING.!!
do you own a xylophone? RUnning out of ‘x’s there are we tiger?

The letter Y:
Do you like the color yellow?: no need to ostracise a colour just because of its negative connotations (you yellow bellied lilly livered pussy!) — where does that come from anyway!?
What year were you born in?: 1983 the year of the PIG. dammit.
Whats one thing you yearn for?:cherry flavoured keyboards – i dont know why. the heart wants what it wants.

The letter Z:
Whats your zodiac sign?: Aries
Do you believe in the zodiac?: does the zodiac believe in ME?
What’s your favorite zoo animal?: Im not allowed to talk about that, they said that if i so much as mention it again then they WILL take legal action… sigh… but i just LOVE THEM SO MUCH, i cant help it…

*high five*

 

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Filed under Acts Like a Lady, High Five Moment

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