You’ve heard the slogan. “Don’t Drink and Drive” you’ve heard it a million times. You’ve heard the stats. But somehow, in some part of your brain, you feel like it doesn’t apply to you. That the people who are BAD drunk drivers are OTHER people. That YOU’RE fine. That you live “just round the corner”… besides, you’re responsible. You’ll be fine. And ladies, I see you. I AM you. “We won’t get arrested. There’s nothing a flutter of eyelashes or short skirt can’t solve.”
Well. You’re wrong. Because it happened to me.
And I was wearing make-up, heels and a short skirt.
Watch this video:
Now, change that guy with a skinny white girl on her way back from a Sunday Summer Afternoon session watching Goldfish in Camps Bay and you have EXACTLY what happened to me in January this year. Yes, January. It is now September and I am still appearing in court. Today in fact.
That video gives me chills. It’s so accurate. (Although that guy’s alcohol count was way higher than mine. it doesn’t matter, if you’re over – you’re over. And remember: if you’re a girl who weighs around 50kgs, 2 beers puts you over.)
If you think getting a taxi is too expensive, trust me: Lawyers didn’t get into their profession because it was less lucrative than driving taxis. They charge you for phone calls, letters, emails and every court appearance. Their are WAYS to get home. Good Fellas has different levels of subscription, where they send someone out to drive you home, with your car. The monthly fee is less than one hour with my lawyer. My Criminal lawyer. Because that is what I am seen as now, a criminal. Little old, happy, innocent me. Rather get someone to drive you home. Regret nothing.
I didn’t drink for 4 years, voluntarily.
I am usually the designated Driver.
I was 2 blocks from home when the police randomly stopped me.
I didn’t FEEL drunk.
It was a chilled Sunday, not even a party night.
I was over the limit.
I spent the night in jail.
There was a fat, naked tik-head in the cell with me.
I am now in a lot of trouble. (it has nothing to do with the naked tik-head *side eye*)
Over 9 months of waiting for a verdict, a resolution. Hoping they lost my blood. (They didn’t). Hoping that there’d be a loophole (there wasn’t) I am now facing the Judge this morning.
My *random high five* goes to SAB and the people at No Regret Friday. The people behind that chilling advert up there. The people behind the twitter hashtag that trends every Friday #NoRegretFriday. The People trying to stop the rest of you knuckleheads out there from being a Knucklehead like me. Every person who has contributed to the website, signed the petition, sent in their story.
It’s just not worth it. Regret. Could have, should have, would have. Didn’t.
The second, *JUMPING High Five* goes to Good Fellas, for offering us such an amazing solution. (You can see my friend MumZ the comedian in their advert below ‘talking drunkanese’ *High Five*)
WIN: SAB have offered to give a 6 month GOOD FELLAS subscription to one of you. All you have to do is send me YOUR stories of ‘No Regret Friday’. Tell me how you or a friend had to learn the lesson the hard way. Or tell me what YOU do to make sure you have no regrets. Leave your comment on this blog post and we will choose one. If you’d prefer to do it anonymously, you can email me: email@example.com
No regret Friday will put your stories and testimonials on their website (anonymously if you’d prefer) But I’m speaking out. We’ve all done it. and we ALL need to NOT do it.
It could happen to you. It SHOULDN’T happen to anyone. Regret Nothing.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to get ready for court. Again.
*High five to designated drivers*
— Update at 10.50am: Just got home from court, the Judge has postponed – again – as they haven’t made a decision yet. That means more lawyer fees, more appearances and more suspence.